February 18

Today I discovered something very disappointing. The gal I'm interested in has had a few relationship struggles in the past and may have interests of her own. Definitely a red flag that begs for caution. I honestly think that relationships are the hardest challenges in life. Especially as a Christian trying to decipher Gods will. Anyways I'll continue to find out more about her and wether or not she is worth pursuing.
Work went very well today. I got off to a great start on the teaser for Slow Fade. But ran into problems when I came down with a really nasty sickness. Within 2 hours I was helplessly laying on the couch almost unable to move and as cold as could be despite the fire and blanket. I sure hope this does bot continue tomorrow when I will be working setting up for a concert and helping Katie out on a school project.
Amie did well and was pretty satisfied with her rounds now we only have Yo wait till tomorrow to hear the results.

February 17

Today was an incredible day. Filled with lots of work. And at the end of the day I'm very satisfied with my time management. The only thing that really bothers me is that I did not devote enough time to Gods word. Things are really coming together for Slow Fade. And I'm going to be finished with the rough draft in the next few days. I just need to get some footage off of a few tapes. I had a lovely conversation with Amie and Im happy for her. Sounds like everything turned out all right. I received an email today from the gal I'm interested in. I'm hoping to begin to probe into her life and see who she is and if she is even a possible consideration for a further relationship. I'm also looking at where I will be in the next few years and if this is even an appropriate time to pursue a relationship. Although from what I've seen she seems to fit a lot of qualifications that I'm looking for. But time and Gods leading will tell. There's definitely chemistry but that doesn't make for a lasting relationship.

February 16

I got three scenes done today, cleaned my room, organized my closet and did some other various house chores so it was a productive day in general. It was however the bible study tonight that really got me thinking. Or rather the time after the study that got me thinking. I brought up how does a Christian deal with a crush in the context of the characters in my next movie. And one thing that can be applied to my own life is figuring out how not to give away any of my heart as I explore different individuals as prospects. Especially with the current individual whom I do not have the opportunity to spend a lot of time with and in turn run the danger of building her up to be someone she isn't. I must carefully look at who she is and not who I want her to be. I have a feeling that this movie will help me on my journey to find my future spouse and avoid pitfalls. You may notice that this is posted on the wrong date and that us because the conversation went long tonight. I am going to hate myself in three hours when I am getting up.

February 15

I feel real bad for my sisters right now. On their way to Colorado they forgot to turn off and are now in South Dakota trying to back track and get back to the right highway. They've been gone for only a little while and they are missed. My day was good. I was pleased with several things and disappointed in others. I was glad to finally finish a scene that has taken a lot longer than expected but is for me one of the sweetest scenes in the movie. I also was glad to have finally done my laundry which was quite nasty considering it has been a month since I last got to it. It was also really neat to meat with Gary Brown from the Idaho Values Alliance. He asked me about my production and presented me with an opportunity to be involved in a leadership program. I'm very interested to find out more about this opportunity this Saturday when we will meet with several interested parties. Although the meeting was good the travel over there was quite stupid. You see I'm a rather stubborn person when it comes to receiving charity. So rather than hitch a ride to the meeting spot I decided to ride my bike through heavy sleet pouring down on me. Needless to say I was drenched by the time I got home and mud covered me where the tires splashed up the dirty water from the streets. Later on in the day I helped Shari and her husband to move some carpet into their garage attic and then move a couple dozen boxes up there as well. It was kinda awkward to run into heather there. I hadn't seen her in years and the conversation was difficult to carry on in between the work. Well the crush continues today I went from a twitter conversation to email. It sure beats the 140 character limit on twitter. I found out she is going to college plus and is interested in both volunteering at open arms and eventually becoming a wedding planner. Over the next few months I want to really get to see her spiritual side. To go deep into what she believes and if it compliments my beliefs. As well as getting to know more about her on a personality level. Alright I have to admit this. I went online to look up ways to find out if a girl likes you because I am paranoid about liking someone and them not liking me back and as a result me looking like a stalker or creep who doesn't take hints. Although the fact that she emailed me gives me reason to believe that I am not unwelcome in her life. Well I must get some sleep so that I can be productive in the morning. So I will cut my post short and not go into the disappointing aspects of today. Goodnight world.

February 14

Today is valentines day. This last week was the Idaho debate tournament and filled most of my time. But to be honest I rather enjoyed it. You see last square dance I was reacquainted with a family that I knew from cotillion (a manners and dance instruction course). And I developed a crush for the daughter and found the son to be a really cool guy. How to respond to this crush I'm still not sure. Because I know very little about this young woman and I know that surface attraction will fade over time and that a true relationship needs to develop in the deepest regions of the heart. Needless to say I need Gods guidance in this very uncertain situation. Anyways she was at this tournament and I was fortunate to have some time to talk with her in-between rounds. Although a few times I was very nervous. On Saturday I went to the valentines ball and enjoyed dancing the night away with all my closer friends. With the exception of my younger sister Amie who was at the awards ceremony collecting two 2nds a 3rd a 4th a 7th a 9th and a 10th. I was also glad because a package I ordered on Tuesday came which had a new red vest that I bought for the dance, it came at 4 pm just in time. Sunday was a great day of rest. it was also exciting because I established a twitter friendship with my said crush which leads me to believe that there is a mutual interest which gives me some peace knowing that I am not an awkward stalker. If there is no mutual interest I believe that contact should be terminated so not to creep out the other individual. Today was kinda disappointing I was going to buy my sisters and mother flowers but rather than being $30 for 3 dozen it would have cost me $120 for that amount. Needless to say I gave them a dozen gigs instead. Well, I'd like to start keeping a more consistent reflection of my life so to document Gods work in my life and the areas I need to change. So hopefully this fills in a few of the spaces and I can stay in top if this blogging thing. Goodnight word.
Ryan

January 9, 2011

A day of rest. After a long weekend the only thing I could do was rest. Friday was one of the most extreme days I've had this year. Seeing that it is only the 9th day that's not saying much. But it did include a full day if skiing at silver mountain with my dad and Jessie Ward. And then a two hour drive to Chawela where we danced the night away. I had a fantastic time and got to see some good friends from my awana days, the Pecks. I am very grateful for my sisters. They dance so well and often help me avoid awkward situations with people I'm not sure I'd like to dance with. I'm also grateful for them for a plethora of other reasons that would take pages to detail. After another two hour drive I was very tired and very ready to hit the hay.
Saturday was mostly a day to finish the chores I failed to finish during the week. But it was also the day of the Seahawks big game. They beat the champs from last year the Saints. It was the first game I've watched this season and it was probably the best one I've ever seen.
Today then was a final day of rest. After an inspiring and challenging message I then came home thought about it and took a nap. Not that the sermon didn't move me but I was just too tired to do anything. Tomorrow I'll take a deeper look into the sermon and how I can personally apply the truths to my life. I'm hoping to throw a few quotes on Facebook and tumblr to get some people thinking. The sermon was entitled the state of the church and outlined two major pitfalls the church runs into in today's culture. The first being syncretism, becoming like the world. And the second being tribalism, separating yourself entirely from the world in every aspect. It was definitely convicting and I'm sure I will have much to think about during the week as I work through the issues where I stumble or can grow.